Steve York?

[Eyakos]

I read all the Demonverse series way out of order in that I read the Other Places trilogy first, then the first two Keeleys, then the Tyler G trilogy, finished Keeley, then read Eve and Avery. So I noticed something and got confused, when did Keeley re-enslave Steve? When Zack kills her all of her links were broken and she lets them all stay away to protect them, but one of the plot points in the Tyler G series is the fact that he figures out how to destroy a link without killing anyone and uses the ability to free Steve from her. So did I just miss where this was addressed or do I just take it as she felt it was best to make him a slave again some time after book 5?

[David]

She didn't. That's not what the they were saying.

[Eyakos]

But in book 2 and 3 of the Tyler G trilogy it explicitly states that Steve York is her slave, I was just wondering when that happened, because he would've been freed when Zack killed her.

[Korwin]

I assumed she did re-enslave him.

[DAAgnew]

During the explanation of how she will leave most free, she thinks about having to take Steve again so he doesn't slack off. Just never shows the actual grab.

[PS Power]

Yes. The fact that he was her slave was the confirmation that she'd done it off page.

[addmoreice]

Any suggestions on how to handle such 'off screen' scenes like that?

In my book there is a duel, to preserve a consequence of the duel (besides the fight) which is a plot twist, the actual challenge too the duel is off scene. The reason to force a duel is talked about, and dealing with the duel, and the consequence but not the declaring a duel itself.

[PS Power]

That should be fine, as long as the reader can understand what is going on. Most people don't actually have to be led to every single thing constantly.

"The duel was put forth by the other man." is enough to be understood really.

Yes, there is the idea of "show, don't tell" but recall, when that rule came into play in publishing, books regularly had pages and pages of outline like exposition instead of things being shown! It was about stopping that, not shorthanding things occasionally to keep the story moving at the pace you choose.

There IS no right way to tell your story though. Do what works for you. It will be enough.

[addmoreice]

thanks for the advice.

I'm thinking I will avoid posting on royalroadl for my next book. The comments have frazzled my perception of my work too much.

At one point, after my character *literally beat a man to death with his bare hands*, people had commented that my character was 'too passive'. I spent probably 3 minutes staring at that comment flabbergasted. The following comment agreed and said the character should have slaughtered a servant in response to a slight from his host. Yup, not an audience in line with my vision of book is my thinking =-P

[PS Power]

Um... I think you should trust your instincts on that one! I mean, if beating people to death with ones bare hands is too passive, then I must be a real wimp, you know? I hardly even threaten people...

With words!

What you have sounds fine to me, to be honest.